One of the previous winners of the “Biggest Loser” contest was on the Larry King Show last night. She talked about how hard it was to participate in the grueling fitness program. She recalled how she would argue with her trainer about her unreasonable demands. There were so many times when she almost gave up. The turning point for her came when she made the conscious decision to submit herself totally to following the program and to trust her trainer. That’s when she really started to lose the weight. Making that decision made all the difference. As the contestant discovered, the key was opening herself up to trusting that her trainer had her best interest at heart. Additionally, her trainer had the skills to teach her how to achieve weight loss. Yet it was up to her to make it happen.

How often do we spend time arguing with ourselves about things instead of opening ourselves up to learning from someone else? I know I have done it many times. Learning to trust someone else takes trusting oneself. My dentist in a very early appointment for some major dental work said “you need to trust me.” I could not do it immediately. I needed a little more time to get to know him and his work. Once I decided that I was in competent hands, I was able to relax and let him do what needed to be done.

The biggest loser contestant made her decision the same way. She learned to trust that her trainer knew what she was doing and she trusted herself to make that decision.

Recently I read the following quote: “The vast majority of people have the deeply entrenched conviction that ‘success’ promotes happiness. But it is not success that promotes happiness. When you genuinely enjoy your life, you are successful in the only real meaning of the term!” This was written by Tom Russell, who is not familiar to me.

I agree with him. It is how we feel on the inside about ourselves and our lives that creates success. However, people who genuinely enjoy their lives would not refer to it as success; rather they would feel that is just the way life is supposed to be. Coincidentaly I also recently read an interview with a 100-year-old woman living in Costa Rica who liked her life very much. She lived modestly, was surrounded by generations of family and friends, was active and productive and felt that her life had purpose. I doubt she would have stressed that she felt she was successful. I do think she would have agreed that she was happy.

I am concerned that there are too many people whose lives lack the element of genuine enjoyment. Especially by the time people are in their second half of life they have frequently shut down vital parts of themselves. One of my goals in my work is to help people recharge their personal lives so they can genuinely enjoy their lives.