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I am frequently asked “what in the world are boundaries?” This comes from people who have heard that it is important to have boundaries but they have no real understanding as to what that means. Here is how I like to think about boundaries. Boundaries are the imaginary lines we have drawn around ourselves. They are [...] Today I have a guest post which I wrote on my blog http://budurl.com/rekindle. I am not sure if that makes it a guest blog; however, I very much wanted to share it. The news that Tipper and Al Gore are separating after forty years of marriage has taken many by surprise. They seemed to [...] In addition to writing here I have another blog where I give tips and tools for rekindling relationships. Yet together these two make a whole. What determines the strengths of relationships are the two individuals. By building a strong personal foundation we become better partners. The most important factor in loving relationships is the feeling [...] One of my mentors, Virginia Satir, taught me something that has been useful to me and everyone else I have shared it with. She said “treat everything that comes at you from the outside as something with which to cope, and not as a way to define yourself. How often do you hear yourself or others [...] We are all creatures of habit. We keep doing things in the same way until change is forced on us or we decide to make a change. For what must have been years I had been saying to myself “I really need to exercise”. I would start very enthusiastically and then I would stop. I [...] Most couples that I have worked with will initially say that they do not communicate. I see their frustration with each and feel their hope that if only their partner would make some changes he/she would be fine. It doesn’t quite work that way. The solution lies in each person taking responsibility for their own [...] In my last blog I talked about the value of making a commitment to yourself. When we are truly committed to something we don’t feel the need to strive. I shared how I have made a commitment to exercise regularly but I did not accomplish a 30 day blog challenge. The difference was that I [...] One of my mentors, Connie Ragen Green, has just presented a thirty day Power Blogging Challenge. That means making a blog entry daily until Jan. 7 when the challenge ends. Not an easy assignment when it falls right during the holidays. Yet many of us accomplish the most when we have a challenge. I know that [...] A growth mindset is good for relationships. Actually, I think, that it is essential to developing healthy relationships. When two individuals begin a relationship they have the task of learning to also be a twosome. Not an easy task considering that each person comes with unique life experiences and each is filled with expectations for [...] Most couples who are struggling with their relationship will say that the problem is communication. It looks like communication is the issue but the difficulty generally is more than words. Indeed they are frustrated with their communication but beneath that struggle is the dilemma of not knowing how to create a sense of WE in [...] |
 
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