Recently, while on vacation  in Snow Mass, Colorado , I met a woman who in honor of her fiftieth birthday did her first bungee jump.  There is something about turning fifty that brings all kinds of  feelings to the forefront.  She wanted to do something that took courage and  prove to herself that she was not old. The dichotomy of still being a  mother of three elementary school children and receiving her AARP invitation was a bit charring.

I don’t remember what I did on my fiftieth birthday but I do recall being very aware that from now on life was no longer limitless. I felt a renewed urgency to reevaluate my life.   I recall being offended when I got my AARP invitation and throwing it immediately into the trash.  I concluded that if I joined AARP that I was agreeing that I was old.  I was not about to join because  I did not feel old. Yet I did have to face the fact that whatever I was going to do with my life I better get started.

I also realized that there is real value in this life stage.  This is when our internal voice  begins to grapple with the reality that whatever we want to pursue the time to begin is now.  Gradually I made a commitment  to take better care of my body, initiated a move to a new community, and began new business ventures.  My journey had its share of setbacks and frustrations  along with the joy of growing  by expecting more of myself.

 AARP kept sending me information like clockwork and I finally was ready to join when I was around 64.  Now I felt ready because age did not matter so much to me anymore. In the meantime  I have come to accept  that what really matters is that I  pursue what is important  to me and live with gratitude.

I have been asked if one truly can strengthen ones emotional fitness after age fifty.  My answer is a resounding yes.  And I would add that it is possible also in the decades that follow.  I have seen men and women who have put their primary energy into their business and professional lives  realize that they no longer want to neglect their emotional needs.  In the second half of life there is an internal push towards wholeness.  Thus we see people who have submerged their need for creativity start developing that side, likewise we see people who have submerged their feelings and wants  start to grow emotionally.

Thought of the day:

The minute a man (or woman-my addition) ceases to grow, no matter what his years, that minute he begins to be old.  William James

A dear friend of mine sent me a copy of an article by Tara Parker-Pope with the title :  WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? A LONGER LIFE.  The gist of the article is that one of the most powerful weapons for slowing aging and prolonging life is to have good friends. In addition to sending the article to me,  she emailed it to two other mutual friends.

The four of us  met in the graduate student dorm at the University of Minnesota.  Our friendship has lasted over 40 years. In the last 15 years we started having yearly five day reunions.   We have been there for each other through the joys and tribulations that life brings.

It is interesting to read that researchers are now validating what the four of us long ago figured out. We knew that our friendship made our lives richer and that our bond  augmented our lives.  What we did not know was that it would also help us live longer.

Developing and keeping good friendships needs to be added to the recommendations on how to age vibrantly.

How often have you heard people say that they would do something “if only” that would happen first? I see “if only” as the biggest reason why people in their second half of life find themselves on hold. They are waiting for something to happen first. I certainly understand that since I have done my share of waiting. In actuality we wait because it is scary to move out of our comfort zone and go after what we really would like for ourselves. The other big factor is inertia. It takes energy to do anything differently.

Here are some ways to push through your comfort zone. Hold the big picture of what you envision for yourself as a beacon in the distance. Then start taking small steps that make you feel good if you accomplish them. It could be making the bed daily, straightening up your desk, etc., anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment. The key is to establish regular routines for yourself that you can do. When they become habits you add new steps. Starting a regular exercise routine will ensure that you create energy for yourself in order to push through the inertia.

We now know that the human brain has plasticity and that we can keep growing throughout our lives. That puts the responsibility on each of us to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirit. 

Recently I read the following quote: “The vast majority of people have the deeply entrenched conviction that ‘success’ promotes happiness. But it is not success that promotes happiness. When you genuinely enjoy your life, you are successful in the only real meaning of the term!” This was written by Tom Russell, who is not familiar to me.

I agree with him. It is how we feel on the inside about ourselves and our lives that creates success. However, people who genuinely enjoy their lives would not refer to it as success; rather they would feel that is just the way life is supposed to be. Coincidentaly I also recently read an interview with a 100-year-old woman living in Costa Rica who liked her life very much. She lived modestly, was surrounded by generations of family and friends, was active and productive and felt that her life had purpose. I doubt she would have stressed that she felt she was successful. I do think she would have agreed that she was happy.

I am concerned that there are too many people whose lives lack the element of genuine enjoyment. Especially by the time people are in their second half of life they have frequently shut down vital parts of themselves. One of my goals in my work is to help people recharge their personal lives so they can genuinely enjoy their lives.

The act of recharging ones life starts by openly assessing it and then taking action. By the second half of life, routines and habits are usually pretty well established. It is hard to look at ourselves objectively. Yet the answers as to what we need in order to feel content and happy are inside us. Look for my interactive teleclass “Recharge and Enjoy Your Second Half of LIfe” starting in September. The focus of the class will be on making an assessment as to where you see yourself and then initiating action steps which will propel you forward as you create the life you want. 

By the time we are in our second half of life we are used to doing things in a certain way.  Yet at the same time we may internally yearning to do new things and go after we have always wanted to do.  This is the time of life when there is an internal push to focus on self.  Our lives may be fine on  one level but not truly reflecting who we are and what we are capable of being on another level. 

Today I will focus on one way of creating energy in order to be able to recharge your life. It takes energy to begin anything new. The addition of regular exercise to your life is a fabulous way of creating new energy. A few years ago, when I admitted to myself that my life needed recharging, I joined a gym.  There was one close by and I gave myself the assignment to go three times a week.  Many mornings I did not feel like going. It was only after I made exercise a ritual which I did on a specific day at a specific time that it became a regular part of my life.

Most of us have busy lives and making time for exercise means that time has to be created for it. Look at your life and see if you can make a commitment to several regular time slots.  Unless exercise is on the schedule there is a great chance that your best intentions may not work. The most important factor in creating energy through exercise is your mindset.  What is your reason for taking care of your body?  If the reason is that you want to be healthy and have more energy to live fully you will find ways to create time to take care of yourself.  Anything new that we do in our best interest recharges our lives.