This is the first Mother’s Day without my mother.  She died last fall a day shy of her 95th birthday.  As I think of her I see that she has left us a legacy of wisdom tips.  She would describe them as common sense.  She was born in Estonia into a comfortable life which changed drastically during the Second World War.  As a young woman of 29 she fled with her husband, mother, and four young children to Austria and later came to the USA.  Looking back at her life I can see that it was her optimism, tenacity, and spirit that sustained and nurtured our family.

Life tips from my mother:

1. Be open to change

Events happen and circumstances change.  Change is part of life. You are best off putting your energy into finding solutions.

2. Go with the flow

That is much better than fighting things that are truly out of your control.  Use your common sense to figure out the difference.

3. Let go of regrets

Regrets can keep you stuck in the past.  Appreciate what you had but put your energy into the present where you can create  your future.

4. Draw on your resilience

All of us have strengths inside us that we do not even know are there until we truly need them.  Trust yourself and rise to the occasion.

5. Do not forget to go for a daily walk because it will clear your head and be good for your body.

6. Remember you will always possess what is inside you

Material things can end up being temporary but the knowledge you carry within you is there forever.  Get all the education you can, apply yourself, and enjoy what you are doing.

7. Do not complain

Complaining wastes energy.  Instead be  pleasant and have a positive outlook.

8. Be generous,  loving, and share laughter with others.

Recently I read a  wonderful  realistic book “Eye Of My Heart” about the hidden pleasures and perils of being a grandmother.  Barbara Graham, a writer herself, asked 27 writers, who are all grandmothers, to share their stories. The result is an eye opening compilation of the different experiences of what it is like to be  grandmothers in the 21st century. I am also a grandmother of six grandchildren and I found something to relate to in almost every story.

When we become grandmothers we find ourselves in a whole new role.  Yet  this new role comes without a blueprint.  In “Eye Of MY Heart” every grandmother confronts the situation of having to deal with what she wants with the reality that these children have parents with their own ideas. One of the great delights of this book is that these well known writers open themselves up and let us see their struggles. All of us, who are grandparents now, are defining this new role. It is going to be different from the stories of our grandmothers.  This is a perfect gift both for mothers and grandmothers on Mother’s Day.