In addition to writing here I have another blog where I give tips and tools for rekindling relationships. Yet together these two make a whole.  What determines the strengths of relationships are the two individuals.  By building a strong personal foundation we become better partners.  The most important factor in  loving relationships  is the feeling of worth each person has for self. This affects how each treats the other, the demands they make of each other, and how they care for self.

Love is a feeling that can grow or fade.  Couples generally are drawn together by sexual attraction.  That does not guarantee friendship or compatibility.  In order for love to grow it has to be nourished.  Think about planting a seed.  In order to germinate and grow it needs water, light, and nourishing soil.  It is the same with love in relationships, it needs nurturing every single day. Many  couples leave love to chance and at some point realize that the relationship needs rekindling. I invite you to visit http://budurl.com/rekindle to see what I am writing about relationships.

Likewise, it is the same for us as individuals.  Unless we take good care of ourselves we stop bringing forth our greatness. Did you know that as you strengthen your personal foundation your expectations of yourself and your relationship will  be enhanced.   You will grow into the person you are capable of being.

With Valentine’s Day approaching this is a good week to talk about the value of having supportive relationships. When times are stressful we all yearn to have someone in our life who will be loving, caring, and understanding. To have these qualities in ones partner when one is worried about the state of the economy, decilining retirement funds, or loss of job will make a big the difference.

I have found that in stressful times people discover resources within themselves that allow them to bring forth these qualities. Difficulties can become the springboard for bringing forth ones best. Couples who have had conflictual relationships realize that they are better off if they find ways to help each other weather whatever they are facing.

External stress can drive couples further apart if they allow their lives to be overcome with anger, depression, anxiety and accusations. Instead, I have seen couples in conflictual relationships shift to put their energies into finding solutions to their particular situation. This is what I call the “Love Response”. Each person is able to look at what is best for the couple or the family rather than just their own needs. They move from self-centered thinking to concentrating on what is best for their relationship.. It is this ability to look at “what is best for us” that strengthens couples and families.

Turning to the love response at a time of stress allows each person to feel connected and supported. This response can be nurtured and strengthened by realizing that by giving to the other you will get love and intimacy back. For all Valentine’s Day is a blessed reminder to think in terms of what is best for those we love.