What makes it possible for some people to come through hard times emotionally intact while others flounder? My mother, who died recently at age 95, was one of the people who could successfully deal with changes in adverse circumstance. She managed to convey trust that we would get through anything as long as we loved and supported each other.  As a young woman of 30 with a husband, 4 young children and mother she fled from Estonia to Austria during the Second World War and later immigrated to the USA. She had lived a comfortable life in Estonia and subsequently was faced with challenges which required enormous emotional resources. Of course it has only been as an adult that I have understood how important her steadfastness was for all of us. Looking back at her life I can see that there is much to learn from how she dealt emotionally with whatever life brought.

Tips from my mother:

1. Life can be unpredictable so make the best of it.
2. Don’t forget to go for a walk because it will clear your mind.
3. Be adaptable and resilient as you deal with never encountered situations.
4. Remember you can lose material things but you will always have what is within you.
5. Get nurturance from nature, music and literature.
6. Be generous, loving, and share laughter with others.
7. Live in the present and do not complain.

When the economy is gyrating and mostly going down it creates fear and anxiety in our lives. Here are a few ideas that can be helpful in managing fear and anxiety:

1. You can reduce your anxiety by accepting that many things are indeed out of your control. Your task now is to look for doable solutions in your personal situation.
2. Remember that when people are stressed they are much more apt to revert to all or nothing thinking, imagine worst case scenarious, and fall into “if only I had” thinking. Catch yourself and if you find that you are doing that remind yourself that these are exaggerations.
3. Decide what you can do now that would be helpful and ease some of the anxiety.
4. For instance if you have decided to cut back on spending come up with a specific first step. Here is a simple example. For instance, you may decide to pack your lunch rather than buy your lunch at work. This is something that is immediately doable and will give you a sense of control. Then add other doable steps.
5. Keep in mind that when worry and stress are managed the mind is freed to look for solutions.

I recently published at Ezine Articles ”Stress Management — Coping Skills for Couples in Uncertain Times,” which some of you may find helpful. There is also an article on “Handling Stress — Helping Children Cope in Uncertain Times.”