Build a Strong Personal Foundation » create energy

Communication Skill: Strengthen Your Ability To Listen

Kristina von Rosenvinge — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:20:39 +0000

Strong listening skills provide the benefit of really hearing what is being said. So much unhappiness occurs in relationships because people do not hear each other. Instead, when there is disagreement, all the energy goes into defending oneself without truly hearing what is being said.

My suggestion for any one struggling with not feeling understood in a relationship is to work on their own listening skills. In a conflictual situation the automatic reaction is to start preparing a response mentally before fully hearing what was being said. If instead you focus on listening you may decide to ask for clarification of how the other came to the conclusion just verbalized. You want to make sure that you truly get what is being said.

By strengthening your listening muscle you are also strengthening your ability to hear whatever he/she is saying as coming from that person’s perspective. It is not about you. By not personalizing you will be able to focus on truly hearing the other. If you do not personalize you can decide how you want to respond with the result that you feel empowered.

Create Energy By Taking Action

Kristina von Rosenvinge — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:14:39 +0000

The truth is that we have to expend energy to create energy for ourselves. And the only way to expend energy is to take action.

This morning I went to a Yoga class. It took some mental energy to get up early but the physical and emotional energy that I received from participating made it all worth while. I am a firm believer that in order to stay vibrant and healthy we have to take action. There is no other way to keep our minds alert and our bodies fit. I can say that now but for years I did not exercise at all. A few years ago I made a mental commitment to myself that I wanted to be healthy as I aged. That by itself was not enough. I had to initially force myself to follow through and start exercising. In time exercise has become an important ritual in my life.

Desiring change in our lives does not lead to change. We have to take action to make change happen. Many people hold themselves back by hoping that when they feel like it they will take action. Instead, they need to learn that by taking little conscious steps they will start creating energy and be able to take more steps that help them grow.

Are You Caught in the “If Only” Hold?

Kristina von Rosenvinge — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:08:58 +0000

How often have you heard people say that they would do something “if only” that would happen first? I see “if only” as the biggest reason why people in their second half of life find themselves on hold. They are waiting for something to happen first. I certainly understand that since I have done my share of waiting. In actuality we wait because it is scary to move out of our comfort zone and go after what we really would like for ourselves. The other big factor is inertia. It takes energy to do anything differently.

Here are some ways to push through your comfort zone. Hold the big picture of what you envision for yourself as a beacon in the distance. Then start taking small steps that make you feel good if you accomplish them. It could be making the bed daily, straightening up your desk, etc., anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment. The key is to establish regular routines for yourself that you can do. When they become habits you add new steps. Starting a regular exercise routine will ensure that you create energy for yourself in order to push through the inertia.

We now know that the human brain has plasticity and that we can keep growing throughout our lives. That puts the responsibility on each of us to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirit.