Communication Skill: Ask How Not Why

A simple but effective communication skill is to remember to ask HOW questions instead of WHY questions.  Ask a child “why did you do that”? The answer inevitably is “I don’t know”. Many a parent has been frustrated by such a response.  The same thing of course also happens between  adults.  The reason is [...]

Control in Relationships

Being in a relationship makes it much harder to also stay in control of your own life.  That is because our relationships organize us. Let me tell you about Carol and how she changed in her marriage.  She is a college educated woman who decided to be a stay at home mom.  Over the [...]

New Year’s Resolutions

When I went to the gym on Saturday, January 2, it was great to see the place so full.  I am sure that many of these new people had made a New Year’s resolution to get serious about exercising.  Setting goals is important but the challenge is maintaining the resolution.

Several weeks ago I [...]

Snowed-In

We are snowed-in.  Twenty  inches makes for a beautiful winter wonderland.

The snowfall made me aware of how important it is to be flexible.  My weekend was planned with shopping, the grandkids coming to decorate the tree and spend the night, buying and mailing last minute presents and baking cookies.  Everything, except for baking [...]

Self-Growth: What Kind Of Mindset Do You Have?

Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?  I have been fascinated for a long time as to how come some people remain active and involved throughout life and others end up limiting themselves. Recently I have been reading about the groundbreaking ideas on mindset  put forth by Dr. Carol Dweck a [...]

More on Process

In my last post I talked about the usefulness of learning to think process. I defined process as looking objectively at what goes on between people.  By learning to think process there is a new richer understanding of the relationship dynamic.

Mary and John appeared to have a good relationship.  Both were successful people [...]

Thoughts on Charles Darwin Day

February 12, 2009 is the 200th birthday of the evolutionary biologist Charles Darwin. I have been musing about the following quote by him “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, it is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

The ability to change as the situation [...]