This morning I stopped by at a Storage facility to get information about renting a locker. My husband is executor of his aunt’s will and will need to store some of her antique furniture temporarily. Jack told me what I needed to know and then went on to tell me about himself. What struck me was how content Jack was with his life. I commented on that and he went on to tell me why that was.
Jack was now in his mid sixties and had been in his second marriage for a dozen years. He said that was the best decision he had made because together they were able to have a relationship where they felt truly equal. For him that had not been the case in his earlier marriage. There had invariably been pressures and struggles. The difference now was that it did not matter who earned more money nor did they get stuck in power struggles instead the basis of their relationship was that they valued each other for who they were. He felt she accepted him for who he was and he her likewise.
I asked Jack if he saw himself as having made changes in the intervening years. He said he had a bit of growing up to do over the years. He was thankful he met his wife when he did because he was ready to be in a relationship where give and take was comfortable and easy. I was amazed how openly he talked with me. Fortunately there were no other customers there to interrupt our conversation.
I did not ask Jack if he had had help with his self growth. That did not matter. What interested me was that he was validating the importance of having strengthened his personal foundation in order to be able to be in a relationship based on love and mutual acceptance.
