Today I have a guest post which I wrote on my blog http://budurl.com/rekindle. I am not sure if that makes it a guest blog; however, I very much wanted to share it.
The news that Tipper and Al Gore are separating after forty years of marriage has taken many by surprise. They seemed to be the poster adults for a vibrant loving marriage. They have not shared how they reached their decision other than to say that it was mutual. There of course are speculations in the media, however the conclusion seems to be that they grew apart.
Over the years I have worked with many couples who have been married several decades. Many have been able to rekindle intimacy and joy in their marriage while some have decided to part ways. Marriage requires a constant infusion of renewal. That is because the two individuals involved are growing and changing which affects the equilibrium of their relationship.
The other major factor that impacts relationships is what is happening in their lives. For instance if, due to lay offs and cut backs, one person is laid off it affects the couple relationship. Or when the last child leaves home the couple relationship has to deal with the change. If a couple works from the premise that we are in this together they are more apt to find solutions that allow them to continue to be supportive to each other.
Change puts stress on the strongest relationships. Yet it is also what keeps relationships vibrant. If a couple can deal with the individual and/or external stress producers in a way that they communicate openly with each other and work towards solutions so both can be OK their intimacy will flourish.
I believe that marriages need a constant infusion of newness and rekindling. Many couples leave the growth of their marriage to chance rather than actively letting each other know what they each need in order for both to feel happy in their relationship.
