I just wrote an article at my other site: http://www.budurl.com/rekindle. It is about how our relationships organize us into repetitive patterns.
Have you ever noticed that after living with someone for a while that conflicts and a good bit of conversation becomes repetitive? I chatted today about the patterns we get into with friends when we did water aerobics. We all could recall getting into repetitive arguments with our parents. We knew what each person was going to say because the script had become repetitive. We get into patterns to some degree in all our relationships.
Some of the patterns we have established lead to closeness and simplify life. But others, when they do not lead to a good resolution, limit us from being able to be as free in expressing ourselves as we want to be. For instance, anyone who grew up in an alcoholic home, experienced being pushed into a role. You were either the bright one, or the good kid, or the trouble maker. It was hard to move out of these roles because the pattern was so firmly established. There was little movement possible where one had the freedom to be just oneself. It is hard as a child to move out of these ritualistic patterns.
As adults we have the freedom to take care of ourselves. If we do not like the part we have taken on in our relationship we have the opportunity to do our part differently. The change will have an impact on the balance of the relationship. Relationships are the happiest when each person feels free to be “me”.
