In my last post I talked about the usefulness of learning to think process. I defined process as looking objectively at what goes on between people. By learning to think process there is a new richer understanding of the relationship dynamic.
Mary and John appeared to have a good relationship. Both were successful people professionally and their friends were truly shocked when they separated. By looking at the process between them it was apparent that their emotional connection was with work and not with each other. Gradually their relationship had morphed into being really good roommates with little intimacy. The break-up occurred when Mary made an emotional connection with a co-worker and was willing to risk getting out of the marriage because of the emotional loneliness.
An alternative for Mary and John would have been to address their intimacy gap and to take action to close it. They could have done that if they had acknowledged that they missed the emotional intimacy which they had shared earlier in their marriage. By understanding their process and taking emotional risks to be authentic with each other and/or availing themselves of professional help couples have successfully rekindled their relationship.
Isn’t attraction really about what you don’t have, or about what you don’t believe you have? If you really get it, it may begin the end of love, and the beginning of having to “work hard at your relationship”. Am I wrong?. I believe this article here answers my quest for info on couples relationship
You make a very good point. We are attracted to people who complement us. I disagree that it is the end of love. Rather, initial attraction love has to grow into a deeper love that cherishes togetherness while appreciating the uniqueness of each person. In order for a relationship to stay vibrant couples do have to “work on their relationship.”