I read an interesting observation today stressing a big drawback of living together before marriage. The reason given was that many people begin to live together before they have had a chance to experience what it is like to be independent. As a result they miss out on the growing up step of standing on their own two feet. It is no wonder than that the desire for independence vs. also the desire for togetherness becomes an issue in many marriages. It is a dilemma I have witnessed over and over.
My specialty is relationship building. I believe that the major task when working with couples is to help each person take full responsibility for self. . By that I mean that they own what they feel and think and can objectively hear the other person. When they can do that working on their couple issues becomes easy. At that point each will have a clear sense of what he/she wants for self and what each wants their marriage/relationship to look like. Then the relationship issues become a balancing of the needs of each while simultaneously building a relationship that enhances each individual’s life.
