A relationship is successful when two people have found a way to relate to each other where each feels accepted, valued, and loved by the other.
1. Establish a relationship of equality
Start with the premise that both of you are of equal worth. This keeps you from getting caught up in the struggle of who has power over the other. Appreciating each other as being equally valuable will bring strength to your relationship.
2. Take responsibility for yourself
You alone are responsible for yourself. What an awesome expectation! It is also very freeing to realize that one does not have to be a victim to the past, the oughts and shoulds, but can choose how to lead one’s own life. The more each person in a relationship takes good care of self, the more each can also give in the relationship.
3. Let go of blame, criticism, and judging
Blame, criticism, and judging get you right back into the arena of who is right and who is wrong. Instead say what you are feeling and thinking by using the pronoun I. It is far more powerful and will let your partner know how you were affected by whatever was just said or done.
4. Go for win-win
In most situations that need to be handled you can come to an understanding that leaves both people feeling OK. There are, however, times when something matters so much to one person that the win-win comes from giving support to that person. If there is a winner and a loser, both people lose.
5. Take 20 minutes each day to talk with each other
Since most people lead very busy lives it becomes important to set specific time aside to connect with each other.
6. Have fun together
Laugh together, find things that you enjoy doing together, find joy around you.
7. Respect each other’s feelings
Allow each other the right to whatever you feel; however, take responsibility for sharing your feelings in a way that you truly get heard.
8. Say or do something to enhance your partner every day
9. Accept each other as you are
10. Give love freely and it will come back to you
