When we build a strong personal foundation we believe that we are capable of more. There are usually habits, lack of knowledge, or beliefs we have about our self that hold us back. As we start strengthening these areas we see that our picture of who we are begins to change.
I am reminded of Margaret whom I coached intermittently over a number of years. I could tell that she was a very bright woman even though she was under achieving professionally. Whenever she started daydreaming about her passions she would come up with rationalizations as to why she should not want more. She had this elaborate “should” habit which was as follows: I should be content, I know others who are content, what’s wrong with me that I am not content.
Margaret had to start believing that her “I should be content” inner voice was really a valuable messenger. Every time it let her know that she was ready to take the next step. It was a signal to her to begin making changes. There was not something wrong with her instead it was her way of dealing with being scared to move out of her comfort zone. Now the task instead became to figure out what she wanted to do next and then take action to make it happen.
Over the years she has gone through many “I should be content” periods. Once she understood her process it did not scare her as much. Yet each time it happened she would initially ask herself “what is wrong with me” and stay there for briefer periods each time.
She has gone on to get an advanced degree, hold creative and demanding jobs and now has gone into business for herself. Yet the “I should be content” signal occasionally still pops up. Last time it was about out growing some of her long standing friends. She interpreted this signal as ” it is time to reach out and add new friends into my life”.
