My last several blogs have been about developing a growth mindset. The other day I was confronted by a situation where I did not see that I was operating from a fixed mindset.
I picked up my little 5 year old granddaughter from after care at her kindergarten. She looked sad and I asked her what was troubling her. She had this sad tale about how she was playing with two other girls and they wanted her to find some sticks so they could build a tiny house for their little dolls. She had trouble finding sticks and they no longer wanted to play with her.
My response was one of offering empathy and validating her feelings. It was only later that it occurred to me that what she needed was tools on how to take care of herself in such situations. I had mentally returned to what I had felt as a child when in a similar situation. Next time I will respond to her from a growth mindset. I will have her think about what she can do to make herself feel better. I want to help her see that she has choices in how she responds. What I don’t want is for her to stay helpless and feel that there is only one way to deal with girls who exclude her.
Fixed mindsets develop from not appreciating that there are other ways of looking at situations. I reverted to my fixed mindset and only realized later that my little granddaughter needed to learn to view the world and herself from a growth mindset.
When I have had those same thoughts of how I could have helped a child or friend with better suggestions, I have gone back and re-opened the conversation to be able to share more. We can’t always come up with the best response “right off the bat.” Sometimes, it takes thought. Thank you for sharing.