What Is Real Love?

“Real love is a decision to do life long work by becoming a caring companion.”  When I read this recently it put love into a different context for me. I had not thought of it in that way. Yet I think  there is so much truth to that  statement.  It takes commitment and effort to [...]

Relationship Development Leads To Self-Mastery

Relationships work best if each partner takes responsibility for his/her own growth.  By doing that  each is free to give to and grow their relationship.  Neither one has the burden of holding up the other instead each is autonomous and they are together because they feel that life is richer as a result.

There is no [...]

Closeness: This Is Different In Men Than It Is In Women

Since I am known for helping couples rekindle their relationships I am frequently asked what to do when the spark is gone.  We all need a spark both personally and in our relationship in order to  feel good about our life.

Recently I came across a new book by Terry L.Orbuch called 5 Simple Steps to [...]

Having Dreams

I am convinced that all of us have dreams inside us that we yearn to fulfill.  Yet  we can miss out on enjoying life if we do not simultaneously  keep our focus on living fully in the present.

Last night I saw the movie UP. The lead character is a 78 year old grieving widower who [...]

Supportive Partner Stops Being Supportive

You are excited. You finally took the big step to pursue what you have been wanting to do for a long time. You are energized and feel yourself evolving in new directions. Although at times you are scared and feel uncertain you stay focused and start having success.

Then comes the clincher. [...]

The Relationship Effect

Has this happened to you? You are  in a good mood and then your partner says something and “puff” your mood changes.  This is the relationship effect.  It can show up in many different ways but invariably is reflects abdication of control over oneself to someone else.

Let me share an example.  Here is the scene.  [...]

Making a Commitment

I have just been listening to Tiger Woods who  gave a press conference.  This time he really seemed to understand the emotional ramifications of his behavior both for himself and for his marriage.  His infidelity was a betrayal of their marital commitment.  Only time will tell if his wife and he can repair their marriage.

A [...]

From Helpless to Taking Action

The last seven days have been filled with news of the devastating earthquake in Haiti.  I feel for all the people who are desperate to find food, medical care, a place to sleep,  and are looking for their  loved ones or grieving their loss. They are right now helpless to solve many of these concerns [...]

Rekindle Your Relationship

There is no magic answer to rekindling a relationship. There is no one thing that will quickly turn things around.  Yet many couples are able to achieve a new closeness in their relationship.  You may well ask ” how do they do it?”

After helping many couples rekindle their relationship I have found that there are [...]

Snowed-In

We are snowed-in.  Twenty  inches makes for a beautiful winter wonderland.

The snowfall made me aware of how important it is to be flexible.  My weekend was planned with shopping, the grandkids coming to decorate the tree and spend the night, buying and mailing last minute presents and baking cookies.  Everything, except for baking cookies, had [...]