Common Mistakes in Relationships

Couples start out with great hopes of living ever after.  Even if there are problems present somehow they get pushed aside and the hope persists. Sadly, for many it does not work out that way.  I have observed common mistakes in this thinking.

The first mistake is expecting the exciting falling in love stage to continue [...]

Expectations

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them” is a quote by Michael Jordan.  It is evident that he expected a lot from himself and worked hard to achieve excellence in basketball and life.   I think that expectations are powerful.  I see expectations  as being different from  goals.

When we have goals [...]

Communication and Self-Esteem

Most couples that I have worked with will initially say that they do not communicate. I see their frustration with each and feel their hope that if only their partner would make some changes he/she would be fine.  It doesn’t quite work that way.  The solution lies in each person taking responsibility for their own [...]

Why Self-Growth and Relationship Skills?

I have been asked as to why on this site I stress  both self-growth and relationship skills.  Why not just focus on one or the other.  In my mind they are linked.

I think  that it is through  self-growth  that positive changes occur in  marriages/relationships. The stronger one’s self-worth (the result of self-growth) the easier it [...]

Rekindle Your Relationship

There is no magic answer to rekindling a relationship. There is no one thing that will quickly turn things around.  Yet many couples are able to achieve a new closeness in their relationship.  You may well ask ” how do they do it?”

After helping many couples rekindle their relationship I have found that there are [...]

30 Day Challenge Good for Self-Growth

One of my mentors, Connie Ragen Green, has just presented a thirty day Power Blogging Challenge. That means making a blog entry daily until Jan. 7 when the challenge ends.  Not an easy assignment when it falls right during the holidays.

Yet many of us accomplish the most when we have a challenge.  I know that [...]

Rekindle Your Relationship

First I want to tell you about the Q&A show I did with Bruce L. Bair on Nov. 18, 2009.  He is a superb wellness coach with a strong medical background.  Since I am a relationship expert Bruce asked great questions about the impact of menopause on relationships.  It turned out that we both shared [...]

Relationship Building: How to Create a WE

Most couples who are struggling with their relationship will say that the problem is communication. It looks like communication is the issue but the difficulty generally is more than words.  Indeed they are frustrated with their communication but beneath that struggle is the dilemma of not knowing how to create a sense of WE in [...]

Self-Improvement Enhances Relationships

When someone comes to me with relationship issues the question invariably comes up:  how can our relationship get better if he/she refuses to come?  The answer I give is:   you will have to do the couple’s work yourself and I will teach you how to do it.  This immediately elicits varied responses depending on the [...]

Relationships Organize How You Communicate

After writing 30 daily blogs I took a short break.  Now I am back wanting to talk about the power of relationships on communication.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you could not be yourself?  What I mean is being around someone else where you felt squelched.  I can certainly recall times when [...]