When trying to resolve differences there are a few words that are bound to put the other person on the defensive. Two classic words are ALWAYS and NEVER. The reason they are so powerful is that they are absolutes. There is no leeway for exceptions especially when there no doubt are exceptions. These two words have derailed many couples from [...]
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After an hour of exercising this morning I had coffee with two women at the gym. Each of them expressed frustration with their husbands. It all came down to communication difficulties. The husband of one got upset because she did not want to watch a TV special ( a show he knew she [...] The strive for excellence needs to be a life long pursuit. How we talk to ourselves and what we expect of ourselves is in our control. When we stop expecting much of ourselves and listen to other people’s voices at the expense of our own we stop being in charge of our lives. I have been helping people find effective ways to [...] When you really want something the way to achieve it is to make an internal commitment. You have to believe with all your heart that this is what you want and that you are willing to put time and effort into attaining it. Your commitment might be to lose weight, start a new business, have [...] What happened last night could really occur anytime. This was Hallowe’en evening and I briefly stopped by at to see my two grandchildren in their costumes. She was dressed as a good witch and he as some character out of Star Wars. I handed both a card with $10 in it. They were excited at [...] Many struggles in relationships can be simply solved by introducing deliberate shifts into the communication patterns. By viewing the struggle as being in the interaction the focus is shifted from the indivdual to what happens between the two people. A few days ago when we had coffee at the gym after working out my exercise partner shared that she [...] This morning my seven year old granddaughter, a brand new piano student, began to play Yankee Doodle Dandy. When she hit the wrong keys she would in frustration yell out “I am terrible!” After I heard that a few times I suggested that she say instead “I messed up. I am just learning”. How [...] Communication struggles cause a lot of frustration in relationships. I have put together a list of “must dos” that I think are vital for a healthy relationship. The more each person strives to take full respomsibility for self the easier growing together becomes. Each will know clearly where the partner stands on things. The result [...] ‘You are not listening’ is a common outburst when two people are frustrated with each other. Usually they are trying to discuss something and the interaction has become emotionally charged. Unless they find a way to calm down it becomes hard to find a satisfactory solution to the conflict. That is because when people are emotionally agitated [...] There are simple skills that can greatly improve well being. For instance, do you have effective skills for managing yourself when you are upset? This is such a common problem that knowing what to do could make all the difference. When we are emotionally worked up it helps to know how to get control [...] |
 
  
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