I was among the millions of people who watched Oprah’s very last show from Chicago. Over the past 25 years I have tuned in off and on and liked the way she connected to the issues that people face. Her parting message was about worthiness. Oprah understood that most of us struggle with a sense of unworthiness. We want validation [...]
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I have been interested as to when,how, and why people change for a long time. No doubt my decision to become a therapist and life coach had to do with this curiosity; however, I also saw myself as playing a part in the change process. Most of the time it is a crisis that [...] A simple but effective communication skill is to remember to ask HOW questions instead of WHY questions. Ask a child “why did you do that”? The answer inevitably is “I don’t know”. Many a parent has been frustrated by such a response. The same thing of course also happens between adults. The reason is [...] Today is Valentine’s Day. My husband reminded me that 45 years ago we had our engagement party on this day. For years Valentine’s Day brought back memories of that special day. Today it was his reminder that brought the memory back. I like to think that the reason I no longer think of that [...] Being in a relationship makes it much harder to also stay in control of your own life. That is because our relationships organize us. Let me tell you about Carol and how she changed in her marriage. She is a college educated woman who decided to be a stay at home mom. Over the [...] I have just come back from a fabulous trip to Brazil visiting Iguazzu Falls, the Panatanal and Rio de Jainero. While in Rio I had to seek medical care because I discovered that I had a tick embedded on my thigh no doubt brought along from the Safari excursion in the Wetlands. [...] Have you taken something another person said to you personally? I am certain that everyone of us has experienced that at some time. I surely have done it. It is a rather common struggle in relationships. Our self-esteem gets hooked and we respond from our emotional vulnerability. Here is a useful tip to remember: [...] Has this happened to you? You are in a good mood and then your partner says something and “puff” your mood changes. This is the relationship effect. It can show up in many different ways but invariably is reflects abdication of control over oneself to someone else. Let me share an example. Here is [...] I lost trust in the reliability of my car. This may seem an unusual way to talk about losing trust. Last week I could not shift out of park nor could I take the key out. I had the car repaired and after a few trips the problem recurred but was worse. After [...] Most couples that I have worked with will initially say that they do not communicate. I see their frustration with each and feel their hope that if only their partner would make some changes he/she would be fine. It doesn’t quite work that way. The solution lies in each person taking responsibility for their [...] |
 
  
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