Change is part of life and yet some changes are more challenging than others.  Moving from one home to another is one of those times. Much depends on what the move means to the person who is relocating and how the transaction is handled.  Recently, I read an article in the New York Times about “Relocation Therapy”.  Shortly after that I came across an interesting blog by Ken Torrino who handles web relations for Elliman, brokers for New York City Real Estate, www.elliman.com .The focus in his blog and in the NY Times article is from the perspective of realtors. As a therapist I have over the years worked with many people where addressing relocation became an important part of therapy. Until I read these articles I had not fully appreciated that in Real Estate such moves are referred to as Relocation Therapy.

 Mr. Torrino writes that Americans move for employment, education and economic opportunities. Now I quote” Moving around like this used to be called “making a change”.  In recent years, as sociologists and other human professionals have become more interested in the behavior and underlying motivations behind relocations, the term “relocation therapy” has been coined for people who leave behind the familiar place for reasons that are not mandated by the demands of one’s employment or schooling. One common reason for relocation therapy is bereavement or victimization by criminals.”

 He describes how a move to a new location may well be a very positive change in the person’s life.  I can only agree with that. When the apartment where my daughter and her husband were living was broken into they began to look for a new place to live shortly thereafter. The relocation helped them move on from the trauma and it indeed was therapeutic.

What is not clear to me from Mr. Torrino’s article is as to who will provide the relocation therapy.  It is possible that realtors may have a conflict of interest since their goal is to make a sale. Helping someone therapeutically explore what will be in their best interest may entail also considering that there may indeed be times when the best decision may be not to move.  I appreciated Mr. Torrino’s sensitivity to the varietyof reasons why people contemplate relocation and his emphasis that it is a positive change in their life.

In my Kindle eBook  “Relationship Success: How to be Happy Together”   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BH4XR9O  I talk about a couple’s struggle with the “good news” that the husband has received an offer of a job promotion.  I describe in detail how this offer created an emotional crisis in their relationship because accepting the offer involved a move to a new area.  When  two people are affected by the upcoming change it challenges them  in new ways. This couple  had to find a solution which both could support or they would have experienced continued stress in their relationship. 

Another stressful time for families is when an older parent loses his/her spouse through death and the adult children are involved in the relocation planning. As a therapist and life coach my task has been to help the parties involved keep in mind that the final outcome has to be in the best interest of the person undertaking the move.

Mr. Torrino says that the purpose of relocation therapy is to reset the mind and move from a loss inthe family, a midlife crisis, or relationship transformation or another life event.  I whole heartedly agree. We want our home to be a place where we can have peace of mind. When relocation achieves that  goal it will indeed be therapeutic.